Artist`s Statement?... Huh?

I was asked to provide an Artist`s Statement for an upcoming exhibition.
"A what?" I asked, having been until now unaware of such things.
Apparently people want to know why you do what you do. "What`s wrong with just doing it?" I enquired, only to be met with a glare I hadn`t seen since the day I got sent to the Headmaster`s office.
So off I went and had a look at other people`s Artist Statements. After a while I asked for a Dictionary, Thesaurus and Translator.
"Annie dear. You have to write something. We neeeeed it for our clients" whined the curator.
I muttered something along the lines of "You`re getting a king`s ransom for this work I`m doing so why don`t YOU write it then" but not within earshot.
I`m an Illustrator.I draw stuff that hopefully people will like and maybe buy because they like the look of it. I didn`t know I had to EXPLAIN this as well.
I sat at the keyboard for a day or two and eventually came up with
"My work centres on the parallel abstraction of shape and form whilst manoeuvering between the conflict and tension of light and shadow in the emotional chaos of the unconscious symbolism consisting of ideograms which reflect in a negative way on shape and form.
But mostly I do this because I need the money".